Leaked Transcript Of Trump’s Phone Call To President Putin.

This transcript was stolen by Melania, who escaped her dungeon, and left on my porch in a mayonnaise jar at 5:30 this morning.  She also included a plea for help, but this is more interesting.  Included was the complete record of Donald Trump's phone call with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Phone Rings

Trump:  Hello Vlad

Putin: Hello my precious

Trump: No pillow talk Vlad, we need to do something bigly

Putin:What's wrong Donald, you sound stressed

Trump:...

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